作文指正

作文内容：

Nowadays. with the coming of internet, more and more people make online friends. From my perspective, it is totally undoubted. thatn it is imporssible to make real friends on the internet; The reasons. why I believe so are listed as below

Firstly,it is very hard that you have an in-depth conversation with online people. and that is because you have not met face to face. Theremore, it is difficult to Judge this

person whether deserve trust. This is because that it is easier hiding own information to you. Besides,it is to be noted that making friends online always have risks., For example there have always been reports of online fraud.

In conclusion. it is not likely for people to make true friends online .because it could be really hard to have deep conversation with the online friends. and the danger of making friends online exists all the time

老师请帮忙订正语法错误
请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

• 清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
• 运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
• 语言运用较为准确、恰当
  

第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

• 清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
• 运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
• 语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解
  

第三档    13-18分：基本完成了试题规定的任务

• 提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
• 运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
• 存在一些语言错误，但基本不影响理解
  

第四档    7-12分：完成了一部分试题规定的任务

• 遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
• 语法结构和词汇单调。
• 语言错误较多，部分错误影响理解
  

第五档1-6分：未完成试题规定的任务

• 明显遗漏内容要点
• 语法结构和词汇极单调
• 语言错误很多，严重影响理解
  

0分：所传达的信息或所用语言太少，无法评价；所写内容与题目要求完全无关

作文修改如下：

Nowadays, with the advent of the internet, more and more people are making friends online. From my perspective, it is indeed possible to make real friends on the internet. The reasons why I believe so are listed below. Firstly, it may be difficult to have in-depth conversations with people online because you have not met face to face. Secondly, it is difficult to judge whether a person online is trustworthy because it is easier for them to hide information from you. Besides, it should be noted that making friends online always carries risks, such as online fraud. In conclusion, while it can be challenging to have deep conversations with online friends and there are risks involved, it is still possible to make true friends online.

评分：
我会将该作文评为第三档，得分为13-18分。

该作文基本完成了试题规定的任务，提及了关键内容要点。其中列举了几个论点来支持观点，并进行了适当的论证。语法结构和词汇满足基本要求，表达清楚，基本不影响理解。然而，仍有一些语法错误，比如动词时态和主谓一致错误等，需要进一步改进。另外，部分句子的表达可以更加流畅和准确。希望能注意细节，提高语言表达的质量。

比如动词时态和主谓一致错误等，需要进一步改进，麻烦指出具体是哪些？

冰冰 发表于 2023-10-15 10:43
比如动词时态和主谓一致错误等，需要进一步改进，麻烦 ...

以下是作文中的一些具体动词时态和主谓一致错误的修改建议：

1. 第一段第二句中的"it is totally undoubted"应改为"It is without a doubt."
2. 第一段第三句中的"why I believe so are listed as below"应改为"listed below are the reasons why I believe so."
3. 第二段第一句中的"it is very hard that you have an in-depth conversation"应改为"it is very difficult to have an in-depth conversation."
4. 第二段第二句中的"and that is because you have not met face to face."应改为"because you have not met each other in person."
5. 第二段第四句中的"This is because that it is easier hiding own information to you."应改为"This is because it is easier for them to hide their own information from you."
6. 第三段第一句中的"Besides,it is to be noted"应改为"Furthermore, it should be noted."
7. 第三段第三句中的"For example there have always been reports of online fraud."应改为"For example, there have always been reports of online fraud."
8. 第四段第一句中的"because it could be really hard"应改为"because it can be really difficult."
9. 第四段第二句中的"have deep conversation with the online friends"应改为"have deep conversations with online friends."
10. 第四段最后一句中的"the danger of making friends online exists all the time"应改为"there is always the risk of making friends online."