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作文打分修改:E-books or paper books(以总分30分进行打分))

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sophia168118 发表于 2023-10-6 16:55 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
       It is well know that reading is very important in our lives. Some people want to use E-books, some people like use paper books. As for me, I like use paper books。
      As far as paper books are concerned, the advantages lie in enjoyment that real reading bring us ,which means not only can we make notes in the real books, but also we can preserve them as long as possible. Paper books are compared with E-books, and paper books are expensive. But in my opinion, it makes easier for me.
      In the eyes of me, though e-books are attractive, I prefer to paper books. They can calm me down, and keep track of my real feelings It is important that they don`t have any radition.
王艳 发表于 2023-10-6 16:55 | 显示全部楼层
It is well known that reading is very important in our lives. Some people prefer to use e-books, while others still enjoy reading paper books. Personally, I prefer using paper books.

One advantage of paper books is the enjoyment they bring. When reading a physical book, not only can we make notes directly on its pages, but we can also cherish and preserve them for as long as we want. On the other hand, e-books lack this tactile experience and the ability to physically interact with the text. Additionally, although e-books are often seen as cheaper alternatives to paper books, I find it easier to connect with the content when flipping through the pages of a physical book.

Furthermore, paper books do not have the harmful effects of radiation that electronic devices emit. This is an important consideration for maintaining good eye health and overall well-being.

While e-books may have their own appeal, such as convenience and portability, I still prefer the traditional medium of paper books. They not only provide a calming effect, but also allow me to better express and keep track of my true feelings.

In conclusion, while both e-books and paper books have their own advantages, I personally prefer the use of paper books. The enjoyment, ability to make personal annotations, and lack of radiation make them a more appealing choice to me. (28/30)
sophia168118楼主 发表于 2023-10-6 16:56 | 显示全部楼层
不是要求翻译,是打分。并指出相应的错误
王艳 发表于 2023-10-6 16:57 | 显示全部楼层
sophia168118 发表于 2023-10-06 16:56
不是要求翻译,是打分。并指出相应的错误 ...

非常抱歉,我误解了您的要求。根据您的作文内容和语法错误,下面是对您的作文进行打分和修改的建议:

1. 词汇和语法错误:
- "like use"应该改为"like to use";
- "are compared with"应该改为"may be compared with";
- "I prefer to paper books"应该改为"I prefer paper books"。

2. 句子重复和语义表达问题:
- 第一段和第二段中提到了相同的观点,可以将它们合并或重新组织以避免重复;
- 第三段中的句子"Furthermore, paper books do not have the harmful effects of radiation that electronic devices emit."与上文没有明确联系,需要更好地衔接上下文的逻辑。

3. 逻辑和结构改进:
- 建议在引言部分明确阐述争论的主题,并在正文部分展开讨论;
- 建议在结尾段重新概括主要观点,并得出自己的结论。

以下是对您的作文进行修改和改进的结果:

It is well known that reading is very important in our lives. The debate between e-books and paper books has become a relevant topic among readers. While some prefer the convenience of e-books, I personally find myself drawn to the traditional medium of paper books.

One advantage of paper books is the enjoyment they bring. Reading a physical book allows us to fully immerse ourselves in the story, making notes directly on the pages and cherishing them for years to come. This tactile experience is lacking in e-books, which rely solely on screens for reading. Additionally, while e-books are often considered more cost-effective, I find the experience of flipping through the pages of a paper book to be more engaging and enriching.

Another significant advantage of paper books is the absence of radiation. Unlike electronic devices, which emit harmful radiation, paper books provide a safe reading experience that doesn't have any adverse effects on our health. This consideration is particularly important for maintaining good eye health and overall well-being.

Although e-books have their own appeal, such as convenience and portability, I still prefer the use of paper books. They not only provide a calming effect but also allow me to better express and keep track of my true feelings. The physical presence of a book can create a deeper connection with its content, enhancing the reading experience.

In conclusion, while both e-books and paper books have their own advantages, I personally prefer the use of paper books. The enjoyment, ability to make personal annotations, and lack of radiation make them a more appealing choice to me. (23/30)

注意:以上修改仅供参考,具体的打分和修改标准可能因评分者的标准和要求而有所不同。
sophia168118楼主 发表于 2023-10-6 16:59 | 显示全部楼层
"are compared with"应该改为"may be compared with"。如果我将其改为“ Paper book is compared with E-book”是否可以?
王艳 发表于 2023-10-6 16:59 | 显示全部楼层
sophia168118 发表于 2023-10-06 16:59
"are compared with"应该改为"may be compared with" ...

是的,您可以将句子改为"aper books are compared with e-books"。这样更符合语法规则。请注意将"e-books"改为小写,并确保在整篇文章中保持一致使用小写。对于这个错误,我会扣除一分。
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