批改 作文

Dear Tom，
How are you?
I am writing to visit you to attend Lucy’s birthday party. I know recently you work in Shanghai,Lucy’s birthday party in Shanghai too. I don’t know if you have time to attend, but I hope that nothing will prevent  your  from coming.
please kindly find the following information:
Time:Sunday
Addressucy’s home in Shanghai
There will be some people sing songs on that day, others will be dance. What‘s more,  I will be play the piano for everyone.we are look forward to your visit and I believe that you will be happy.
All in all, I am so excited to wait for you, if you can’t attend, please, telling me why,  I look forward to seeing you on Sunday。
Best Regards
Li  Ke

Dear Tom,

How are you? I am writing to invite you to attend Lucy's birthday party in Shanghai. I know you have been working in Shanghai recently, so I hope you can make it to the party. Please find the details below:

Date: Sunday
Venue: Lucy's home in Shanghai

There will be singing and dancing performances, and I will also be playing the piano for everyone. We are looking forward to your attendance and I believe you will have a great time.

If you are unable to attend, please let me know in advance. I hope to see you on Sunday.

Best regards,
Li Ke

Overall, the message is clear and easy to understand. However, there are a few areas for improvement in terms of grammar and sentence structure. Here are some suggestions:

- In the first sentence, it should be "writing to invite" instead of "writing to visit".
- Instead of "I don't know if you have time to attend", you could say "I hope you are available to attend".
- The address line should have a colon instead of "ucy's home in Shanghai".
- When mentioning the performances, it should be "others will dance" instead of "others will be dance".
- In the last sentence, it should be "I look forward to seeing you" instead of "I am so excited to wait for you".