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批改短文,是否有错误的地方

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陈徽茵 发表于 2023-3-29 10:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
Everyone has his or her own green transportation. Some like taking public transportation, while others prefer taking a walk to school or work. If you ask me what my green transportation is, my answer would be riding a bicycle. It is to be noted that riding a bicycle is one of the most popular ways to get a round in city. And it has a lot of benefits. The reasons why I believe so are listed as below.
  To keep a green environment in our life, riding a bicycle is the best way. Firstly, riding a bicycle can be faster than taking a bus when there is a traffic jam. Secondly, I can make myself stronger by cycling. Finally, I can make friends who are bicycle lovers and do cycling trip together.
  In a word, riding a bicycle is the best green transportation. I shall keep up riding a bicycle to get a round in city because it’s environment-friendly and beneficial to me.
admin 发表于 2023-3-29 10:02 | 显示全部楼层
除了一处错别字外,整篇短文没有大的语法错误。但是有些表述可以更加准确和自然流畅:

1.第三句话应该是“如果你问我我的绿色交通工具是什么,我的答案是骑自行车。”

2. 第四句话中,“It is to be noted that...”这个结构有点过于正式,可以改为“骑自行车是城市里最流行的交通方式之一,并且它有很多好处。”

3.接下来一段中,“To keep a green environment in our life,”改为“To maintain a green environment in our lives,”;“can be faster than taking a bus”可以改为“can be faster than taking a bus during traffic jams”;“make myself stronger by cycling”改为“improve my physical fitness by cycling”或者“get exercise while cycling”;“do cycling trip together”应该改为“go on cycling trips together”。

4.最后一句话中,“I shall keep up riding a bicycle to get a round in city”可以改为“I will continue to use my bicycle as my mode of transportation in the city”,“beneficial to me” 可以改为“beneficial for me”。

所以完整的修改后的短文如下:

每个人都有自己的绿色交通方式。有些人喜欢坐公共交通工具,而有些人则喜欢步行上学或上班。如果你问我我的绿色交通工具是什么,我的答案是骑自行车。骑自行车是城市里最流行的交通方式之一,并且它有很多好处。以下是我认为的原因:

为了保持我们生活中的绿色环境,骑自行车是最好的方式。首先,在拥堵时期骑自行车比坐公交车更快。其次,我可以通过骑自行车让自己更强壮。最后,我可以结交喜欢骑自行车的朋友并一起进行自行车旅行。

总之,骑自行车是最好的绿色交通方式。我会继续使用自行车来在城市中出行,因为它对环境友好,并且对我有益。
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