My Favorite Job

      It is well know that working is very important in our lives.As a matter of fact,working is good for us in many ways.Some people want to be a doctor,some people want to be a singer.As for me,my favorite job is being a teacher.
      First of all,being a teacher gets me to know the world and helps me with my studies.In addition,being a teacher can realize my self-worth.Last but not least,if I can be a teacher,I can spend more time with my family and friends.
      As a result,as far as I am concerned,my favorite job is being a teacher.

这篇文章基本上完成了试题规定的任务，提及了选择教师作为职业的主要原因。然而，内容较为简单，缺少具体细节支持论点。另外，语言结构简单，词汇运用稍显单调。

评分：第三档 13-18分

建议：
1. 添加细节：可以通过具体的例子或经验，详细说明为什么你认为做老师可以帮助你了解世界，并实现自我价值。
2. 丰富词汇和句式：尝试使用不同的词汇和更复杂的语法结构来增强文章的表达力。
3. 扩展观点：多考虑一些为什么选择教师作为职业的其他原因，例如影响学生、教育的重要性等。通过增加论据，来使文章更具说服力。
4. 注意连贯性：最后一段可以考虑更自然地连接上下文，使得文章结尾与前面的论述更加流畅。