email

Dear Tom
Hao are you,I am writing email to you,talking about I have a please joy that I become a teacher.I very like my joy now,here are the reasons:
First of all,I have many children,I love them,their honest and happiness bring big happy to me.Next,I  teach my childrend give knowledge to them,help them to understand in a world.last but not least,learn knowledge help them to know word much.
Best Wishes
LiKe

评分：第四档 7-12分

优点：
- 文章试图涵盖主要内容要点。
- 表达了成为教师的喜悦。

不足：
1. **语法结构有误**：
   - “Hao are you” 应为 “How are you”.
   - “I am writing email to you, talking about I have a please joy that I become a teacher” 可以改为 “I am writing to tell you the joyful news that I have become a teacher.”
   - “I very like my joy now” 改为 “I really like my job now.”

2. **词汇使用不当**：
   - “please joy” 应为 “great joy”。
   - “big happy” 应为 “great happiness”。
   - “word much” 应为 “the world better”。

3. **句子结构不完整**：
   - “First of all, I have many children…” 可以重构为 “First of all, I have many students whom I love…”

4. **拼写错误**：
   - “childrend” 应为 “children”。

5. **标点符号和大小写**：
   - 句首应大写，如“last but not least”应为“Last but not least”。

建议：
- 检查拼写和语法错误，确保意思清晰。
- 使用更复杂多样的句型。
- 在段落之间分段，以使结构更清晰。
- 多阅读范文，提高语言准确性和表达能力。