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黄金城SA 发表于 2024-9-27 16:51 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
Dear Mike,
      How are you?I am glad to heard you will come to my hometown tour,so I am writing to tell you some about my hometown questions.There are the questions.
      First of all,I would like to you know my hometown have many rains and winds,so I hope you need bring a bit clothes,and avoid have a cold.In addition,I also hope you need bring some eat things,because there are not have store,and I very happiness you will come to my hometown tour,looking forward to you early replay.
      as a result,I hope you family healthy and happiness.I am looking forward to meeting you.

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王艳 发表于 2024-9-27 16:51 | 显示全部楼层
## Score: 8/30

### Evaluation:

**Content (2/5):**
- **Key Points:** The email attempts to cover several points, such as weather conditions and the need to bring food, but it lacks coherence and clarity.
- **Task Completion:** The key points are mentioned but in a disorganized fashion.

**Structure (1/5):**
- **Organization:** The logical structure is missing. The letter lacks proper paragraphs and transitions.
- **Clarity:** Ideas are not clearly presented.

**Language Use (3/10):**
- **Grammar and Syntax:**
  - Incorrect verb forms ("glad to heard" should be "glad to hear").
  - Awkward sentences ("I would like to you know" should be "I would like you to know").
  - Errors in articles ("bring a bit clothes" should be "bring some clothes").
  - Incorrect phrasing ("there are not have store" could be "there are no stores").
  - Unnecessary repetition and awkward expression ("I very happiness" should be "I am very happy").
  
- **Vocabulary:**
  - Limited range of vocabulary.
  - Incorrect word choices ("early replay" should be "early reply").

- **Spelling and Punctuation:**
  - Inconsistent capitalization ("as a result" should be "As a result").
  - Missing commas and periods, which affect readability.

### Suggestions for Improvement:

1. **Content:**
   - Ensure all key points are covered clearly and logically.
   
2. **Structure:**
   - Use paragraphs to separate different ideas.
   - Introduction, Body, and Conclusion should be clearly distinct.

3. **Language Use:**
   - Pay attention to verb tense consistency.
   - Expand vocabulary to avoid repetition and improve expression.
   - Practice proper grammar use, especially articles and prepositions.

4. **Spelling and Punctuation:**
   - Ensure the correct use of punctuation marks.
   - Capitalize the beginning of sentences and proper nouns.

### Revised Version:

---

**Dear Mike,**

How are you? I am glad to hear that you will come to my hometown for a tour, so I am writing to tell you some things about my hometown.

First of all, I would like you to know that my hometown has a lot of rain and wind, so I hope you can bring some warm clothes to avoid catching a cold. In addition, I also suggest you bring some food because there are no stores nearby.

I am very happy that you will be visiting my hometown. I am looking forward to your early reply.

As a result, I hope your family stays healthy and happy. I am looking forward to meeting you.

Best regards,  
[Your Name]

---
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