设为首页收藏本站今日发布APP下载 温馨提醒您:今天是2025年06月16日,距离2025年10月统考还有

厦门撷墨官网

 找回密码
 新学员注册

QQ登录

只需一步,快速开始

微信登录

微信扫码,快速开始

搜索

My Favorite Job

[复制链接]
5931 |1
黄金城SA 发表于 2024-9-23 16:28 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
      With the development of the social,it is well know that working is very important in our lives.As a matter of fact,we need a good job for life.As for me,my favorite is being a teacher.Here are the reasons
     First of all,being a teacher gets me to know the world,and can make me learn very meaningful things.In addition,as a teacher is very meaningful,for it not only helps me realize self-worth,but also brings us much happiness.Last but not least,I hope I can be a teacher,if I work is being a teacher,I can spend much time with my family and friends.
     As a result,as for as I connected,my favorite job is being a teacher.
陶果果 发表于 2024-9-23 16:28 | 显示全部楼层
### 评分和点评

这篇作文基本上完成了试题规定的任务,但在词汇和语法上存在一些问题,这些问题有时影响到理解。按照评分标准,大致可以归入第三档(13-18分)。

#### 内容要点:
1. 表达清楚
2. 提供了几个成为教师的原因
3. 提到个人愿望和工作对家庭与朋友的影响

#### 优点:
1. 作文整体结构清晰,有一个明确的开头和结尾。
2. 理由较为明确且具体。

#### 不足:
1. 文章中有多处语法错误和拼写错误,例如 "it is well know" 应该是 "it is well known","as for as I connected" 应该改为 "as far as I am concerned"。
2. 句子结构有些单调,缺乏多样性。
3. 某些表达比较生硬,比如“if I work is being a teacher” 可以改为 “if my job is being a teacher”。

#### 批改建议:
1. **语法准确性**:特别注意时态和短语搭配的正确使用。例如 "With the development of the social" 应该改为 "With the development of society"。
2. **词汇选择**:增加词汇的多样性,使用更丰富的词汇来表达思想。
3. **句子结构**:尝试使用不同的句子结构,使文章更加生动和流畅。
4. **细节补充**:可以添加更多具体例子或细节说明,比如具体描述一下教师在帮助学生过程中带给你的快乐和满足感。
5. **标点符号和拼写**:仔细检查标点符号和拼写错误,确保通顺和准确。

### 修正后的版本:
  1. My Favorite Job

  2. With the development of society, it is well known that working is very important in our lives. As a matter of fact, we need a good job for life. As for me, my favorite job is being a teacher. Here are the reasons:

  3. First of all, being a teacher allows me to explore the world and learn meaningful things. In addition, teaching is very significant because it not only helps me realize my self-worth but also brings much happiness. Last but not least, if my job is being a teacher, I can spend more time with my family and friends.

  4. As a result, as far as I am concerned, my favorite job is being a teacher.
复制代码

根据这些标准和建议,这篇作文应得14-16分,属于第三档。
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 新学员注册

本版积分规则

考前冲刺
重要公告

同学,你好

      近期学习安排

      (1)第一轮辅导资料包在个人学习系统-【资料更新】下载

      (2)每日学习安排详见学习计划表

      (3)个人学习系统唯一网址:www.xiemo.vip,建议电脑端登陆学习

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表