An Unforgettable Holiday

Nowadays,more and more student talking about thier are unforgettable holiday.
So,I remeber had a unforgettable holiday,it is summer holiday.the reasons are as follow:
First of all,my father tought me planying basketball,football and ping-pong on the summer holiday.but I like playing basketball than others sports.my father used his free time playing basketball with me and my friends.What's more my friends very like my father,because,my father often playing basketball with them.The last not least,playing basketball it not only bring happiness to my family but also helps me have a healthy body
SO,this summer holiday is my unforettable holiday.

### 评分：

**档次：第三档（13-18分）**

**评分说明：**
1. **内容要点**：
    - 文章提及了几个关键内容要点，如父亲教作者打篮球、足球和乒乓球，以及作者更喜欢打篮球的原因。
    - 内容比较完整，但存在表达不清楚的情况。

2. **篇章结构**：
    - 文章有一个整体结构，但衔接不够流畅，段落之间的过渡不够自然。

3. **语言运用**：
    - 运用了基本的语法结构和词汇，满足了任务的最低要求。
    - 存在一些语言错误，但基本不影响理解。拼写和标点错误较多，影响了语言的准确性。

### 批改建议：

1. **拼写和标点**：
    - “More and more student talking about thier are unforgettable holiday” 应改为 “More and more students are talking about their unforgettable holidays.”
    - “remeber” 应改为 “remember”。
    - “planying” 应改为 “playing”。
    - “unforettable” 应改为 “unforgettable”。

2. **语法和句子结构**：
    - “I remeber had a unforgettable holiday,it is summer holiday” 应改为 “I remember having an unforgettable holiday; it was the summer holiday.”
    - “the reasons are as follow” 应改为 “Here are the reasons why.”
    - “but I like playing basketball than others sports” 应改为 “but I prefer playing basketball over other sports.”
    - “What's more my friends very like my father,because,my father often playing basketball with them” 应改为 “What's more, my friends like my father very much because he often plays basketball with them.”
    - “The last not least,playing basketball it not only bring happiness to my family but also helps me have a healthy body” 应改为 “Last but not least, playing basketball not only brings happiness to my family but also helps me stay healthy.”

3. **逻辑和连贯性**：
    - 使用连接词，使得文章更加连贯。例如，“First of all,” 后面的逗号可以改为分号，以使句子的连接更加自然。
   
4. **调整句子顺序**：
    - 建议重新组织段落，使得逻辑更加清晰，例如将父亲和朋友们一起打篮球的描述集中在一个段落中。

### 修改后作文示例：

**An Unforgettable Holiday**

Nowadays, more and more students are talking about their unforgettable holidays. I remember having an unforgettable holiday; it was during the summer holiday. Here are the reasons why:

First of all, my father taught me how to play basketball, football, and ping-pong during the summer holiday. However, I prefer playing basketball over other sports. My father used his free time to play basketball with me and my friends. What's more, my friends like my father very much because he often plays basketball with them.

Last but not least, playing basketball not only brings happiness to my family but also helps me stay healthy.

So, this summer holiday is my unforgettable holiday.

---

通过这些修改，可以使文章更符合评分标准，语言更流畅，表达更清晰。