作文评分与建议:
按照评分标准,我将对这篇作文进行打分和批改。首先,根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次,然后根据该档次的要求酌情增减分数。
### 评分
**档次**: 第四档 (7-12 分)
**得分**: 10 分
**原因**:
1. **内容要点**: 作文提及了春节作为最喜欢的节日,以及一些相关的活动(如分享食物和庆祝)。虽然提到了关键内容,但表达不够清楚,且缺乏详细描述。
2. **篇章结构**: 文章有一定的逻辑结构,但开头和结尾不够明确,中间段落衔接较弱。
3. **语言运用**: 语法和词汇使用单调,存在许多语言错误,部分影响理解。
### 不足之处
1. **拼写和标点**: 标点符号使用不当,如“China,have many festiveal and holiday”需要在“China”后使用空格并加“。”,“festiveal” 应为“festival”。
2. **语法问题**: 存在许多语法错误,如“their are favorite festival”应为“their favorite festivals are”,“celebraty”应为“celebrate”。
3. **表达不清**: 一些句子表达不够清晰,如“people have curry many food share some people”应为“people prepare and share a variety of foods with others”。
### 批改建议
以下是提高作文质量的具体建议:
1. **改善语法和词汇使用**:
- 原文: "In China,have many festiveal and holiday."
- 改为: "In China, there are many festivals and holidays."
2. **明确表达要点**:
- 原文: "Nowadays,more and more people talking about their are favorite festival in the China."
- 改为: "Nowadays, more and more people talk about their favorite festivals in China."
3. **增加细节**:
- 原文: "the reasons are follows: Firstly,Spring festival is very trendy and popular on the China,when it is coming,people have curry many food share some people ,celebraty spring festival is coming, we are very happy."
- 改为: "The reasons are as follows: Firstly, the Spring Festival is very trendy and popular in China. When it comes, people prepare and share a variety of foods, and celebrate the arrival of the festival. We feel very happy during this time."
4. **完善结尾**:
- 原文: "Next,today,my mother tell me,spring festival is tradition festival,it is not only bring happy but also take many food share somepeople,so ,l like it"
- 改为: "Additionally, my mother told me that the Spring Festival is a traditional festival. It not only brings happiness but also involves sharing a lot of food with others. That's why I like it so much."
### 修改后的作文
**My Favorite Chinese Festival**
In China, there are many festivals and holidays. Nowadays, more and more people talk about their favorite festivals in China. As for me, my favorite Chinese festival is the Spring Festival. The reasons are as follows:
Firstly, the Spring Festival is very trendy and popular in China. When it comes, people prepare and share a variety of food, and celebrate the arrival of the festival. We feel very happy during this time.
Additionally, my mother told me that the Spring Festival is a traditional festival. It not only brings happiness but also involves sharing a lot of food with others. That's why I like it so much.
总之,通过以上修改,可以更好地表达春节作为最喜欢的中国节日的原因,并提升作文的整体水平。 |