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Exercise Every Day

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4939 |1
黄金城SA 发表于 2024-8-22 15:07 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
Nowadays,more and more people talking about that do you have exercise every day.
somepeople hold that exercise every day bring healthy body to their .However,the other people don't like exercise every day.
As for me ,my family like exercise,such,playing ping-pong and running and playing basketball sports.By  exercise,it is not only interesting to my family but also it is helps give my family a healthy bodies.poss sports,I find that after sports we have eating many foods and beneficial give me very good body.so I like exercise every day ,it is giving me many advergest.
王艳 发表于 2024-8-22 15:07 | 显示全部楼层
**评分**

根据评分标准,该作文应处于第四档(7-12分)。具体理由如下:

1. **内容要点:**
   - 注明了一些关键内容,如每天锻炼、家人的运动习惯及其好处,但遗漏了更多详细的解释和例子。
   
2. **语法结构和词汇:**
   - 语法结构和词汇相对单一,不够丰富。
   - 存在不少语言错误,如拼写错误、语法错误和不恰当的词语使用。

3. **语言准确性:**
   - 错误较多,有些影响理解。

**不足之处:**

1. **拼写和标点:**
   - 缺少空格:“Nowadays,more”、“somepeople”及“poss sports”等。
   - 拼写错误:“bring healthy body to their”应为“bring a healthy body to them”,“sports”可能是“after sports”,“advergest”不明确,应为“advantages”。

2. **语法错误:**
   - 主谓一致问题:“exercise every day bring”应为“exercise every day brings”,“it is helps give”应为“it also helps give”。
   - 代词使用不当:“give my family a healthy bodies”应为“give my family healthy bodies”。
   - 不规范的用法:“As for me ,my family”应为“As for my family and me”,“it is interesting to my family”应为“it is interesting for my family”。

3. **句子结构:**
   - 有些句子结构不清晰,表达模糊,如“give me very good body”应为“gives me a very good body”。

**批改建议:**

1. **改正拼写错误和标点符号使用:**
   - 将“Nowadays,more and more people talking about that do you have exercise every day.”改为“Nowadays, more and more people are talking about whether you exercise every day.”
   - 改善拼写错误的地方,注意标点后面的空格。

2. **提高语法准确性:**
   - 修正主谓一致错误,如“bring”改为“brings”。
   - 调整代词和冠词的使用,使句子更流畅,如“bring healthy body to their”改为“brings a healthy body to them”。

3. **丰富句子结构和词汇:**
   - 扩展使用的句型和词汇,使文章更加丰富有趣。
   - 增加一些连接词,如“However”,以增加段落之间的连贯性。

4. **增加细节和例子:**
   - 更详细地描述每天锻炼带来的具体好处,并给出一些例子,增强文章的说服力。

以下是经过修改的版本:

---

**Exercise Every Day**

Nowadays, more and more people are talking about whether we should exercise every day. Some people believe that exercising daily can bring a healthy body to them. However, others do not like to exercise every day.

As for my family and me, we enjoy exercising. We often play ping-pong, run, and play basketball. Through exercise, it is not only interesting for my family but also helps us to maintain healthy bodies. After exercising, we usually have a good appetite and eat many nutritious foods, which is beneficial for our health. Therefore, I like to exercise every day; it gives me many advantages.

---

这样修改后,文章的内容更加连贯,语法和拼写错误减少,更容易理解。
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