作文批改及评分

Physical exercise
It is often said that‘life lies in movement’ ,physical exercise is a necessary part of people life,physical exercise is very beneficial to people's physical health.From my perspective,it is undoubtedly that exercise is one of the keys to a healthy life,especially running.the reasons why i believe so are listed as below.
The first point that i want to mention is that running increases lifespan and that is because it improves your immunity which guards against diseases.What is more,it is easy for us to understand that running helps people sleep better,which is because tiredness after running makes runners fall asleep more quickly and easily.last but no least,we have to admit that runners could easily keep a running habit ,the reason behind this running with friends is fun and relaxing.in addition to attending sports activities can help people develop a strong body and keep energetic , physical exercise is an effective way to release pressure and keep a pleasant mood.Secondly,by attending physical activities that people can have chances to interact and communicate with others,which can help them improve their social skills. it is easier to make friends while take part in sport activities,because you have the same interest ,it is important for making friends.Besides many community provide a lot of sports facilities for people to do physical exercise,people can choose freely according to their interests and needs.
So from what i mention above ,we can easily come to the conclude that everyone should not hesitate to attend sports activities.All in all ,happiness comes from sports，health comes from sports,I get a lot benefit from physical exercise .

请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
语言运用较为准确、恰当

第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解

评分如下：

总体印象：第二档，19-24分

评语：

这篇作文基本完成了题目要求，但还有一些不足之处。

1. 结构与内容：文章开头引用了一个常言，表达了对运动的重要性。接着列举了三个观点来支持自己的观点：跑步能延长寿命、改善睡眠、促进社交。这些观点都是合理的并且有逻辑关联。然而，在结尾部分，你提到从运动中获得了很多好处，但没有展开具体讲述。建议在结尾部分再加上一两句话，简要描述一下你从体育锻炼中所获得的具体好处。另外，每个观点建议多给一些细节和例子来支持，这样会使文章更有说服力。

2. 语言运用：整体来说，语言运用基本正确，但还有一些错误需要注意。首先是时态的使用，文章中出现了一些时态的混乱，例如"running helps people sleep better"应该是"running helps people to sleep better"。其次，一些表达不够准确，比如"tiredness after running makes runners fall asleep more quickly and easily"可以表达为"the fatigue from running helps runners fall asleep more quickly and easily"。此外，文章还可以更加丰富一些词汇和表达方式，使文章更具有吸引力。

总之，这篇作文在结构和内容上有一定的合理性和连贯性，但在语言运用上还有一些不足之处。建议在后续的写作中，多注意时态的使用和语言准确性，并且通过提供更多的细节和例子来支持观点，以使文章更加完善。