作文批改并评分

作文内容：

My Favorite sport
Recently, more and more people are talking about favorite sports.From my perspective, it is totally undoubted that running is a perfect choice. The reasons why I believe so are listed as below.
The first point that I want to mention is that running can help me relax , and that is because running can reduce my pressure . What is more, it’s easier for us to understand that running is a sport that can protect the environment, which is because running can reduce environmental pollution.
From what I mention above, we can easily come to the conclusion that  running is a perfect choice. After all, running can help me relax and is a sport that can protect the environment.

请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

• 清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
• 运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
• 语言运用较为准确、恰当
  

第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

• 清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
• 运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
• 语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解
  

第三档    13-18分：基本完成了试题规定的任务

• 提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
• 运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
• 存在一些语言错误，但基本不影响理解
  

第四档    7-12分：完成了一部分试题规定的任务

• 遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
• 语法结构和词汇单调。
• 语言错误较多，部分错误影响理解
  

第五档1-6分：未完成试题规定的任务

• 明显遗漏内容要点
• 语法结构和词汇极单调
• 语言错误很多，严重影响理解
  

0分：所传达的信息或所用语言太少，无法评价；所写内容与题目要求完全无关

作文评价：
这篇作文的内容较为简单，表达清晰明了，但有一些语法错误和表达不够准确的地方。另外，还可以进一步扩展和丰富论述。

语法错误：
1. 在第一段中，"totally undoubted"应改为"undeniably".
2. 在第二段中，"first point that I want to mention"应改为"the first point I want to mention"。
3. 在第三段中，"which is because running can reduce environmental pollution" 应改为"since running can reduce environmental pollution"。

表达不足：
1. 除了放松和环境保护的原因，还可以提及一些其他的好处，如增强体质、锻炼心肺功能等。
2. 可以通过举例或引用相关研究来支撑自己的观点。

改良后的作文：
My Favorite Sport

Recently, there has been a lot of discussion about people's favorite sports. From my perspective, there is no doubt that running is a perfect choice. The reasons why I believe so are numerous and compelling.

Firstly, running not only helps me relax, but also reduces my stress. When I go for a run, I feel a sense of freedom and release from the pressures of daily life. It is like a form of therapy that clears my mind and rejuvenates my spirit. Additionally, the rhythmic motion of running helps me achieve a state of calmness and tranquility.

Furthermore, running is a sport that contributes to protecting the environment. Unlike other sports that require the use of equipment that may be harmful to the ecosystem, running is a sustainable and eco-friendly activity. It does not produce any pollution or waste, making it an ideal choice in today's world where environmental issues are of great concern.

Moreover, running offers numerous health benefits. It helps to strengthen my cardiovascular system, improve my stamina, and increase my overall fitness level. Regular running also reduces the risk of various diseases, such as heart disease, diabetes, and obesity. It is a natural way to keep my body fit and healthy.

In addition, running can be a social activity that allows me to connect with like-minded individuals. Participating in running clubs or events provides an opportunity to meet new people, make friends, and share experiences. The sense of camaraderie and support from fellow runners is truly motivating and inspiring.

In conclusion, running is not only a sport that helps me relax but also contributes to protecting the environment. Its numerous health benefits and social aspects make it a perfect choice for anyone seeking a balanced and fulfilling lifestyle. So, lace up your running shoes, hit the trail, and experience the joy of running for yourself!

评分：7/10。