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晴子 发表于 2023-10-22 16:25 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
                                                                                                                                    Traveling



     Recently,more and more people stay at home watching TV and surfing the internet ,which leads obesity and serious illness
     This is no doubt that have a travel is good for our health.First when you go to travel,you can see many beautiful view and can do more walking.Second traveling will make us very happy,if you travel with your friends,it will be close with them.Traveling will make our life more colorful.
      Traveling also have some disadvantages,for example it is need spend to much money,the money will spend on the eating,sleeping and so on. when you come the place at the first time ,it is also dangerous.
    In my opinions,nothing is more important that travel,it is time to take action to stay away from the TV and computer and take part in traveling.

陶果果 发表于 2023-10-22 16:26 | 显示全部楼层
Traveling is indeed a beneficial activity for our overall well-being. In recent years, there has been an increasing trend of people spending more time at home, engaging in sedentary activities such as watching TV and surfing the internet. This lifestyle choice has resulted in obesity and various serious health issues. Therefore, it is imperative to encourage individuals to embark on travel adventures.

One of the major advantages of traveling is the opportunity to witness breathtaking landscapes and natural wonders. Whether it's exploring towering mountains, relaxing on pristine beaches, or discovering historic landmarks, these experiences can be truly fulfilling. Moreover, traveling often involves walking and engaging in physical activities, which contribute to improved physical fitness and combat sedentary behavior.

Furthermore, traveling enhances personal relationships and brings people closer together. When traveling with friends or family, individuals not only create lasting memories but also strengthen their bonds. Shared experiences and moments of adventure create a sense of camaraderie and increase social interaction.

Despite these benefits, it is important to acknowledge that traveling also has its drawbacks. One major concern is the cost involved. Traveling requires expenses for accommodation, meals, transportation, and various other things. These costs can add up and pose a financial burden for some individuals. Additionally, traveling to unfamiliar places may involve certain risks and dangers. It is crucial to exercise caution and plan thoroughly to ensure safety and security.

In my opinion, the advantages of traveling far outweigh the disadvantages. It is high time for individuals to take action and break free from the confines of television and computer screens. By participating in travel experiences, we enrich our lives, broaden our perspectives, and enhance our overall well-being.

However, please note that the essay could be improved in terms of organization, clarity, and grammar. Some sentences are unclear and lack proper punctuation and sentence structure. There is also a need for better transition between ideas. To improve your score, I would recommend revising the content to address these issues. Overall, I would give this essay a score of 6 out of 10.
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