作文评分与修改

Recently, more and more people are talking about favorite sports. From my perspective, it is totally undoubted that climbing mountain is my favorite sports . The reasons why I believe so are listed as below.

The first point that I want to mention is that climbing mountain is really a good thing, and that is because it helps me keep healthly.climbing mountain is one of the most active and effective means to enhance the physical health.The second point is climbling mountain is a good way to relax.When you are upset, it may pull you out from depression.What is more, it’s easier for us to understand that the benefit of climbing mountain.

From what I mention above, we can easily come to the conclusion that is a good thing. After all, climbing mountain can keep you health and make you relax.

请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
语言运用较为准确、恰当

第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解

第三档    13-18分：基本完成了试题规定的任务

提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
存在一些语言错误，但基本不影响理解

第四档    7-12分：完成了一部分试题规定的任务

遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
语法结构和词汇单调。
语言错误较多，部分错误影响理解

第五档1-6分：未完成试题规定的任务

明显遗漏内容要点
语法结构和词汇极单调
语言错误很多，严重影响理解

0分：所传达的信息或所用语言太少，无法评价；所写内容与题目要求完全无关

评分与修改：

根据评分标准，我给出以下评分和修改建议：

内容要点：在这个作文中，作者提到了爬山对身体健康的好处以及放松心情的好处。然而，作者未能展开具体的论述和支持，缺乏充分的论证和例子。因此，在内容要点方面，我给予第三档的13-18分。

篇章结构：这篇作文缺乏明确的引言、正文和结论部分，没有明确的段落划分和过渡句，导致文章结构混乱。在篇章结构方面，我给予第四档的7-12分。

语言运用：作者在语法和拼写方面存在一些小错误，但整体上语言运用还是能够基本理解的。在语言运用方面，我给予第二档的19-24分。

综上所述，我给出的总评分为第三档的13-18分。

修改建议：

Recently, more and more people are talking about their favorite sports. From my perspective, climbing mountains is undoubtedly my favorite sport. There are several reasons why I believe so. First and foremost, climbing mountains is a great way to stay healthy. It is one of the most active and effective means to enhance physical health. Additionally, climbing mountains is also a good way to relax. When you are feeling upset, it can help pull you out of depression. Furthermore, the benefits of climbing mountains are easily understandable. Based on the reasons mentioned above, it is safe to conclude that climbing mountains is a good activity. After all, it can keep you healthy and help you relax.

In conclusion, while the essay touches upon the benefits of climbing mountains, it lacks specific examples and thorough explanations. The structure of the essay needs improvement with clear paragraphs and transition sentences. Additionally, there are some minor errors in grammar and spelling. Overall, it has potential but could benefit from further development and refinement.