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周周138034 发表于 2023-10-21 17:43 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
Recently, more and morepeople are talking about how to protect the environment. From my perspective, itis totally undoubted that protecting the environment is everyone’sresponsibility. The reasons why I believe so are listed as below.
The first point that I want to mention is that low-carbon travelcan reduce air pollution,the Low-carbon travel is that we can drive less,walkmore or ride bicycles, and that is because low-carbon travel can give us a fresh airand it keep us healthy in the future. What is more, it’s easier for us tounderstand that save water can protect the existing water resources,whichis because water is rather limited on the earth and wateris the source of life.
From what I mention above, we can easily come to the conclusionthat protecting the environment is everyone’s responsibility .Afterall, we need cleaner air and water. we should protect our environment,we can plant many tree for water and low-carbon travel and so on to protect ourenvironment.


王艳 发表于 2023-10-21 17:43 | 显示全部楼层
Recently, more and more people are talking about how to protect the environment. From my perspective, it is undoubted that protecting the environment is everyone’s responsibility. The reasons why I believe so are listed below.

The first point I want to mention is that low-carbon travel can reduce air pollution. Low-carbon travel means driving less, walking more, or riding bicycles. This can lead to a fresher and healthier air for all of us in the future. Additionally, it is easy to understand that saving water can protect existing water resources. Water is limited on Earth and is the source of life.

From what I have mentioned above, we can easily come to the conclusion that protecting the environment is everyone’s responsibility. After all, we all need cleaner air and water. To achieve this, we should undertake certain actions such as planting more trees for water preservation and engaging in low-carbon travel. These efforts will help us protect our environment.

Overall, your essay effectively conveys the importance of environmental protection and highlights the significance of low-carbon travel and water conservation. However, there are some areas for improvement.

First, the organization of your ideas could be better. Consider separating each reason into its own paragraph to improve clarity and coherence.

In addition, there are some grammar and phrasing errors that should be addressed. For example, instead of saying "From what I mention above," you could say "Based on the points mentioned above." Also, you should use proper punctuation to separate ideas and sentences.

Lastly, the conclusion could be strengthened by restating the main argument and providing a call to action. This will leave a lasting impression on the reader and inspire them to take responsibility for protecting the environment.

Considering these aspects, I would give your essay a score of 7 out of 10. With some minor revisions and improvements, it has the potential to be an even stronger piece of writing. Keep up the good work!
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