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Spring is coming

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sophia168118 发表于 2023-10-20 15:10 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
请根据所提供材料中的要求完成一篇l00词左右的英文写作任务。将你的答案写在答题卡相应的位置上。
51.某英文报社正在举办题为“spring is come”的征文活动。请就以下要点写一篇英文短文应征。
    描写春天的景象
    介绍人们在春天的各种活动

Recently,more and more are talking about what will we do when spring is coming.From my perspective, it is without a doubt that we can go outside to do something. The reasons why I believe so are listed below.
     To begin with some people enjoying travelling in spring. It would be a great ways to bring camera as well because there are lots of beautiful places in spring that they might want to take photo.
      Secondly,engaging in outside activities for the students,which makes it easier for them to make friends who share the same interests.It is enjoyable to contact the others through the joy of activities.
     From what I mention  above, it can easier come to the conclusion that more activities we can do it in spring.And the weather in spring is warm and sunny.



请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分,并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分,按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分,而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时,先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次,然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数,最后给分应避免分数趋中现象,即不能只给中间档次的分数,该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分),该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时,应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑,英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认,以致影响交际,或字数明显少于要求,将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分:圆满完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
语言运用较为准确、恰当

第二档    19-24分:完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
语言运用基本正确,虽有小错,但不影响理解

第三档    13-18分:基本完成了试题规定的任务

提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
存在一些语言错误,但基本不影响理解

第四档    7-12分:完成了一部分试题规定的任务

遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
语法结构和词汇单调。
语言错误较多,部分错误影响理解

第五档1-6分:未完成试题规定的任务

明显遗漏内容要点
语法结构和词汇极单调
语言错误很多,严重影响理解

0分:所传达的信息或所用语言太少,无法评价;所写内容与题目要求完全无关
王艳 发表于 2023-10-20 15:11 | 显示全部楼层
Score: 22/30

The essay provides a satisfactory response to the task. It covers the main points of describing the scenery in spring and introducing various activities people engage in during springtime. The organization of the essay is clear, with distinct paragraphs for each point. The language used is generally appropriate, although there are some errors and awkward expressions.

However, there are a few areas that could be improved. Firstly, the introduction could be more engaging and attention-grabbing. A strong opening sentence or hook would help to draw the reader in. Additionally, there could be more specific details and vivid descriptions when describing the scenery in spring. This would make the essay more interesting and engaging.

Furthermore, the essay lacks variety in sentence structure, with many sentences starting with "it" or "there". Varying the sentence structure would make the essay more fluent and enjoyable to read.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a satisfactory understanding of the topic and fulfills the requirements of the task. With some improvements in language usage and sentence structure, it could receive a higher score.
sophia168118楼主 发表于 2023-10-20 15:12 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层
请中文评分
王艳 发表于 2023-10-20 15:12 | 显示全部楼层

评分:20/30
该作文对任务的要求做出了基本满足。在描述春天的景色和介绍人们在春天的各种活动方面提供了较为全面的内容。该作文的组织清晰,每个要点都有明确的段落。所使用的语言基本恰当,但存在一些错误和不太自然的表达。

然而,还有一些地方可以改进。首先,引言部分可以更具吸引力和引人入胜。一个强烈的开场句或引子能够吸引读者。此外,在描述春天的景色时可以增加更多具体细节和生动描述。这将使作文更有趣和引人入胜。

此外,该作文在句子结构上缺乏变化,许多句子以"it"或"there"开头。改变句子结构将使作文更流畅,更有趣。

总体而言,该作文对主题有基本的理解,并满足了任务的要求。通过改进语言使用和句子结构,它可以获得更高的分数。
sophia168118楼主 发表于 2023-10-20 15:15 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层
该文章评分为几分。属于评分标准第几档。
王艳 发表于 2023-10-20 15:15 | 显示全部楼层
sophia168118 发表于 2023-10-20 15:15
该文章评分为几分。属于评分标准第几档。 ...

评分:20/30
属于评分标准第三档。完成了试题规定的任务,提及了关键内容要点,运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求,存在一些语言错误,但基本不影响理解。
sophia168118楼主 发表于 2023-10-20 15:16 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层
具体如何修改
王艳 发表于 2023-10-20 15:17 | 显示全部楼层

以下是对作文的修改意见:

Recently, more and more people are anticipating the arrival of spring. From my perspective, it is undeniable that spring offers a multitude of opportunities for outdoor activities. The reasons behind this belief are outlined below.

To begin with, many people enjoy traveling during the spring season. It is a great opportunity to bring a camera along as there are plenty of beautiful places to visit and capture in photos during this time of year.

Secondly, engaging in outdoor activities allows students to easily make friends who share similar interests. It is enjoyable to connect with others through shared activities and experiences.

Considering the points mentioned above, it is evident that spring offers a wide array of activities to participate in. Additionally, the weather in spring is warm and sunny, making it even more appealing to spend time outside.

These modifications aim to improve the clarity and coherence of the essay, as well as enhance the language accuracy.
sophia168118楼主 发表于 2023-10-20 15:21 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层
评价这句话的语法结构,该句子结构是否有无?Considering the points mentioned above, it is evident that spring offers a wide array of activities to participate in
王艳 发表于 2023-10-20 15:21 | 显示全部楼层
sophia168118 发表于 2023-10-20 15:21
评价这句话的语法结构,该句子结构是否有无?Consider ...

这句话的语法结构是正确的,没有问题。它使用了主语从句和定语从句来说明春天提供的活动种类丰富。
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