作文批改

                                                                                                            Exercise Every Day   

    Recently, more and more people are talking about Exercise Every Day. From my perspective, it is totally undoubted that exercise is important for the body .The reason why I believe so are listed as below.

    The first point that I want to mention is that exercise can bring us benefits, and that is because it not only strength body but also make me spirit.I like basketball, I usually spend two hours playing it. What is more, it is easier for us to understand that help us lose weight, which is because it can help burn calories, increase energy consumption, and control weight.

    From what I mention above, we can easily come to the conclusion that exercise is important for the body. After all exercise can bring us benefits and .

请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
语言运用较为准确、恰当

第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解

第三档    13-18分：基本完成了试题规定的任务

提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
存在一些语言错误，但基本不影响理解

第四档    7-12分：完成了一部分试题规定的任务

遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
语法结构和词汇单调。
语言错误较多，部分错误影响理解

第五档1-6分：未完成试题规定的任务

明显遗漏内容要点
语法结构和词汇极单调
语言错误很多，严重影响理解

0分：所传达的信息或所用语言太少，无法评价；所写内容与题目要求完全无关

Exercise Every Day - Score: 16-18 Points

The essay discusses the importance of exercise for the body. It argues that exercise brings benefits including physical strength and mental well-being. The writer mentions their love for basketball and how it helps them burn calories and control weight. However, the essay lacks coherence and has several language errors that affect understanding.

In terms of content, the essay covers the main points but lacks depth and development. The writer briefly mentions the benefits of exercise but does not provide specific examples or evidence to support their claims. Additionally, the essay does not explain how exercise can strengthen the body or make one feel more spirited. The lack of elaboration weakens the overall argument.

In terms of organization, the essay lacks a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The ideas are presented in a disorganized manner, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of thoughts. Additionally, the essay ends abruptly without a proper conclusion.

In terms of language use, there are significant errors that hinder comprehension. There are errors in verb tenses, word choice, and sentence structure. For example, "it is totally undoubted" should be "there is no doubt," and "strength body" should be "strengthen the body." Furthermore, the essay lacks coherence due to abrupt shifts in ideas and inconsistent use of pronouns.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic but lacks depth and clarity. The language errors and lack of organization hinder the reader's comprehension of the writer's ideas. To improve, the writer should provide more detailed examples, use clear and concise language, and organize their thoughts coherently.