辣条作文评分并修改

Dear Tom,

This is Li Ke from Beijing. The reason that l am writing to you is because I want to tell you how to keep the  optimistic. Besides of that, here goes another thing that i think is important, which is that you have to do is shift your point of view. Lastly, I believe you should know this at the very end of my letter, and that is begin to build your confidence, and work through problems rather than avoid them.Find out what makes you anxious.

I appreciate your time for reading my letter and I am looking forward to your reply. I hope everything goes well with your life.

Li Ke
按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
语言运用较为准确、恰当

第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解

第三档    13-18分：基本完成了试题规定的任务

提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
存在一些语言错误，但基本不影响理解

第四档    7-12分：完成了一部分试题规定的任务

遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
语法结构和词汇单调。
语言错误较多，部分错误影响理解

第五档1-6分：未完成试题规定的任务

明显遗漏内容要点
语法结构和词汇极单调
语言错误很多，严重影响理解

0分：所传达的信息或所用语言太少，无法评价；所写内容与题目要求完全无关

Dear Tom,

This is Li Ke from Beijing. I am writing to you to share some tips on how to stay optimistic and positive. One important thing is to shift your point of view. Try to see things from a different perspective and focus on the positives. Additionally, it is crucial to build your confidence and face problems head-on, rather than avoiding or running away from them. Lastly, identifying what makes you anxious can help in finding ways to overcome it.

I appreciate your time in reading my letter and I look forward to your reply. I hope everything is going well in your life.

Best regards,
Li Ke

评分：第二档，22分
修改建议：
1.需要完善文章结构，增加引言和总结来丰富内容。例如，引言可以包含一句话或引用，引入讨论乐观的重要性。总结则可以强调希望对方能够应用这些建议，表达良好的祝愿。
2.需要注意语法错误和书写准确性，特别是句子结构和标点符号。句子要简练，明确表达思想，避免使用过多冗长的句子。标点符号要正确使用，以便读者更好地理解你的表达意图。
3.在详细阐述如何保持积极乐观时，可以提供一些具体的方法和例子，以增强可读性和说服力。通过实际的案例说明你的观点会更有效地传达你的意思。
4.语言表达可以更加简洁明了。避免使用冗长的词语和重复的表达方式。用简练的语言来传达你的观点，使读者更易理解。

修改后的文章如下：

Dear Tom,

I hope this letter finds you well. I wanted to discuss the importance of staying optimistic and positive in life, and share some tips with you. As Benjamin Franklin once said, "The more you focus on the positive aspects of your life, the happier you will be."

Firstly, it's essential to shift your point of view. Instead of dwelling on the negatives, try to see challenges as opportunities for growth. For example, if you encounter a setback at work, view it as a chance to learn and improve rather than a failure. This change in perspective can greatly impact your overall outlook on life.

Secondly, building confidence is key. Believe in your abilities and embrace challenges with a positive mindset. Rather than avoiding problems, confront them head-on and find solutions. Remember that setbacks are merely temporary and stepping stones to success.

Lastly, take the time to evaluate what makes you anxious and find ways to overcome it. Whether it's public speaking or meeting new people, facing your fears will help you grow and become more resilient. Push yourself out of your comfort zone and celebrate each small victory along the way.

I appreciate your time in reading my letter and I hope these tips will be helpful to you. If you have any further questions or need more advice, please feel free to reach out. Wishing you all the best in life!

Warm regards,

Li Ke