作文批改

作文内容：


When it comes to traditional Chinese foods, everyone has their own preferences. Personally, I have always considered mooncake to be my favorite traditional Chinese food.
There are several reasons for this choice. Firstly, mooncake is not only a delicious treat, but also holds significant cultural value as a symbol of togetherness with family. Additionally, by enjoying mooncake, I am able to deepen my understanding of the importance of family bonds. Lastly, indulging in mooncake allows me to unwind and appreciate the joys of life, thus providing a sense of stress relief.
In conclusion, I have a strong affinity for mooncake as my favorite traditional Chinese food.

请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

• 清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
• 运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
• 语言运用较为准确、恰当
  

第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

• 清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
• 运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
• 语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解
  

第三档    13-18分：基本完成了试题规定的任务

• 提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
• 运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
• 存在一些语言错误，但基本不影响理解
  

第四档    7-12分：完成了一部分试题规定的任务

• 遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
• 语法结构和词汇单调。
• 语言错误较多，部分错误影响理解
  

第五档1-6分：未完成试题规定的任务

• 明显遗漏内容要点
• 语法结构和词汇极单调
• 语言错误很多，严重影响理解
  

0分：所传达的信息或所用语言太少，无法评价；所写内容与题目要求完全无关

评分：第三档    13-18分

总体印象：文章表达清楚，完成了试题规定的任务。但语言运用不够准确，存在一些语言错误，影响理解。

具体评分如下：
内容要点：完全提及了选择月饼作为最喜爱的中国传统食物的原因，包括月饼的美味、象征亲情的文化价值以及给人带来的快乐和压力缓解。并进行了简要的总结。得分：4分。

篇章结构：文章结构清晰，包含了引言、主体段落和结论。主体段落的顺序逻辑合理。得分：4分。

语言运用：语法结构基本正确，但存在一些错误，如名词单复数搭配不准确（firstly应为first）；词汇运用基本满足要求，但可以进一步丰富。得分：3分。

总体印象：文章表达清晰，但语言运用不够准确，存在一些错误，影响了理解。虽然完成了试题规定的任务，但还有进一步提高的空间。总体得分：11分。

When it comes to traditional Chinese foods, everyone has their own preferences. Personally, I have always considered mooncake to be my favorite traditional Chinese food.
There are several reasons for this choice. Firstly, mooncake is not only a delicious treat, but also holds significant cultural value as a symbol of togetherness with family. Additionally, by enjoying mooncake, I am able to deepen my understanding of the importance of family bonds. Lastly, indulging in mooncake allows me to unwind and appreciate the joys of life, thus providing a sense of stress relief.
In conclusion, I have a strong affinity for mooncake as my favorite traditional Chinese food.按要求改
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
语言运用较为准确、恰当，字数120左右

汕头泽松 发表于 2023-10-08 11:20
When it comes to traditional Chinese foods, everyo ...

When it comes to traditional Chinese foods, everyone has their own preferences. Personally, I have always considered mooncake to be my favorite traditional Chinese food. There are several reasons for this choice. Firstly, mooncake is not only a delicious treat, but also holds significant cultural value as a symbol of togetherness with family. Additionally, enjoying mooncake helps me deepen my understanding of the importance of family bonds. Lastly, indulging in mooncake allows me to relax and appreciate the joys of life, providing stress relief. In conclusion, mooncake holds a special place in my heart as my favorite traditional Chinese food.