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第九单元测试 作文写作批改

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徐丽雯 发表于 2023-10-2 00:38 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
About TV ads

TV ads has advantages or disadvantages.
Advantages for example: first, Tv ads very important to help me to get information and new knowledge. Second,various Tv ads make me get to know the world.However,Tv ads has disadvantages,such as watching too much Tv ads can waste a lot of time,some Tv ads are boring and unless and their can bring us bad information.
My favorite Tv ads type of learning,because i like study ,it can make me happy and teach me many new things,enrich my study life!
I think it is very meaningful!

Please identify and list any mistakes or unclear expressions in this essay written by a/an (目的语言) student.
陶果果 发表于 2023-10-2 00:38 | 显示全部楼层
As a university teacher, I'd be happy to provide feedback on this essay.

Here are the mistakes and unclear expressions in the essay:

1. Sentence structure: There are several instances where sentence structure is incorrect or unclear. For example, in the first sentence, it should be "TV ads have advantages and disadvantages" instead of "TV ads has advantages or disadvantages." Additionally, there are multiple instances of run-on sentences or incomplete sentences throughout the essay.

2. Incorrect verb tense: In the second advantage mentioned, the phrase "various Tv ads make me get to know the world" should be corrected to "various TV ads help me get to know the world."

3. Lack of coherence: The essay lacks clear organization and coherence. The writer jumps from one advantage to another without proper transition or explanation. It would be helpful to provide further examples or elaboration for each point.

4. Spelling and punctuation errors: There are several spelling errors throughout the essay, such as "unless" instead of "unpleasant" and "their" instead of "there." Additionally, there are inconsistent capitalization and punctuation errors.

5. Lack of clarity: The writer mentions that watching too much TV ads can waste time, but it is not clear how this applies to the advantages or disadvantages. It would be helpful to clarify this point or provide more specific examples.

6. Lack of conclusion: The essay abruptly ends after mentioning the writer's favorite type of TV ads. It would be beneficial to include a concluding statement summarizing the main points or providing a final thought.

Overall, the essay needs improvement in terms of sentence structure, clarity, organization, and grammar. It would be beneficial for the writer to revise and edit the essay, providing more specific examples and ensuring coherence throughout.
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