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请批改作文my favorite TV program

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雨兮 发表于 2023-4-14 21:16 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
介绍你最喜欢的电视节目,为什么喜欢这个电视节目。
          In our daily lives, watching TV remains one of the most popular forms of entertainment. Everyone has his own favorite TV program, form my opinion, Happy Camp is my favorite TV program. Which is a variety of entertainment program made by Hunan TV in 1997.
I will illustrate several reasons for this.
          Firstly, Happy Camp is highly praised for its fresh topics, innovative content, refreshing style. Secondly, the program is filled with fashionable informations and knowledge,funny things. I’m always very happy by watching Happy Camp, it can helps me relax after a busy daily work. Lastly, this program also invite many stars, singers, players to attend their program. Being able to see the star you like is a particularly happy thing.
All in all, This is a program that can make people particularly happy. I love Happy Camp.

请批改作文
admin 发表于 2023-4-14 21:17 | 显示全部楼层
首先,语法方面需要注意一些小错误。比如第一句话中的“form”应该是“from”,第二句话中的“is”后缺少了主语。建议在写作时多留意这些小细节,可以通过反复检查来避免这些错误。

其次,在文章的表达方面可以更加充实一些。比如你可以从以下几个方面来拓展你的论述:

1. Happy Camp的节目形式和内容。你提到了这个节目是一个娱乐综艺节目,但可以进一步说一下节目的组成部分、主持人风格等,以及节目中的各种环节和游戏。同时,你也可以具体讲一些你喜欢的环节是哪些,为什么喜欢这些环节。

2. Happy Camp对你的影响。你提到了观看这个节目可以帮助你放松心情,但可以进一步说一下具体是怎么帮助你放松的,以及有没有对你的生活、学习、工作等方面产生过影响。

3. Happy Camp与明星嘉宾的关系。你提到节目中会邀请很多明星嘉宾参加,但可以进一步说一下你最喜欢的嘉宾是谁,为什么喜欢这个嘉宾,以及这个嘉宾在节目中表现得如何。

总体来说,文章的结构清晰、内容简单明了,但可以在表达方面更加充实一些。建议在写作时尽可能多拓展论述内容,这样可以让文章更加丰富多彩。

点评

请给予英文版指导  详情 回复 发表于 2023-4-14 21:32
雨兮楼主 发表于 2023-4-14 21:32 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层
admin 发表于 2023-4-14 21:17
首先,语法方面需要注意一些小错误。比如第一句话中的“form”应该是“from”,第二句话中的“is”后缺少了 ...

请给予英文版指导
admin 发表于 2023-4-14 21:32 | 显示全部楼层
Sure, here is my feedback on your essay "My favorite TV program":

Firstly, there are some small grammar errors in your essay. For example, "form" in the first sentence should be "from" and the second sentence lacks a subject after "is". I suggest paying attention to these details while writing and revising your essay. Double-checking can help you avoid such errors.

Secondly, you can make your essay more substantial in terms of expression. You can expand your discussion from the following aspects:

1. The format and content of Happy Camp. You mentioned that it is an entertainment variety show, but you can talk about the composition, host style, and various segments and games in detail. Additionally, you can specify which segments or games you like the most and explain why they are your favorites.

2. How Happy Camp affects you. You mentioned that watching this show helps you relax, but you can elaborate on how it helps you relax and whether it has influenced your life, study, work, etc.

3. The relationship between Happy Camp and celebrity guests. You mentioned that the show invites many celebrity guests to participate, but you can further specify who your favorite guest is, why you like them, and how they performed on the show.

Overall, your essay has a clear structure and simple language, but you can make it more diverse by elaborating on different aspects of the topic. Therefore, I suggest expanding your discussion and providing more specific details for each point.
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