作文批改评分

Technology in the Home
Technology is everywhere today, especially in the home. We'd like you, the readers, to write a short
article telling us two things you would find most difficult to live without. Don't forget to say why.
The three best articles will be published in our magazine.

Recently, as people's living standard have improved, technology is in everywhere today, especially in the home. But two things I think most difficult to live without. That is smartphones and computers. The
reasons why I think this to you are as follows.
First and foremost,  you can use smartphones and computers to chat , which would shorten the distance between families and friends.
In addition, you can use smartphones and computers to study in online, which have  a lot of free dates.
First but not least, smartphones and computers also can liberate our horizons and make our life colorful.
From I mention above, I think the most difficult to live without is smartphones and computers,. I like use that and which could be beneficial from it.
作文批改评分

得分：2/5

评价：需要进一步改进

- 文章结构混乱，没有明确的开头、主体、结尾，需要重点训练写作组织能力。
- 语法错误很多，需要多加注意。例如，第一句话中“people's”后面应该加一个“s”，变成“people's living standards”。
- 这篇文章只讨论了“smartphones”和“computers”，缺少深入探讨。如何使用这些工具帮助我们更好地生活？文章没有给出具体例子或说服性论据，需要加强论证能力。
- 文章有些表述不太自然或易于误解。例如，“you can use smartphones and computers to study in online, which have a lot of free dates.” 应该是 “you can use smartphones and computers to access online resources, many of which are free.”